Superinky Fixations

Fudge. I’m a big bummer these days, what with a super sick cat that well, is ready to pass into the next life. I’m suprised at how emotional I’ve been this week. I mean, let me clarify. I’ve always loved my cat; she’s been this constant in my life for 8 years; very cool, very sweet. But the last 3 years she’s kinda been on the back burner just chilling quietly while we contend with our freak of a dog who loathes and wishes to kill all felines. And now, well, it’s the end. She knows it, I know it, bretty knows it, fuck, probably all the other animals in the house know it, too. I’m grappling with this immense guilt that I didn’t spend enough time with her, that I didn’t give her all the love and attention I so dearly wish now I would have given her over the last few years. I know hindsight is 20/20, and I KNOW that this beating myself up with guilt doesn’t help matters any. I’m sleep deprived and anxious, depressed and listless, hoping HOPING HOPING we’re making the right decision and at the same time knowing I cannot possibly let her suffer any more.

Lelo & A - thank you so much for our lovely dinner the other night. Thank you so much for being so sensitive and understanding to what we’re going through and sharing your experience. It really meant a lot to me. I know it’s time now for her to pass. This time tomorrow she’ll be gone.

Meanwhile, uh yeah, meanwhile NOTHING. I’m in one of my voids. It blows. Ugh. I’ll try to come up with something.

Queen Two Dot is nearing the end of her 12 year reign, ever graceful and expressive. She’ll tell us when it’s time cuz she’s cool like that. I’m sad.

Since there is now irrefutable proof of my innate intuition and uncanny ability to sense subtle foreshadowing symbols (see blog entry "INXS wants J.D., dated  7 September 2005), I welcome your inquiries into your own future. It’s helpful if we’ve had a connection before, even virtual.

g.g., and you know who you are, I’ll get back to you privately. Meanwhile, it’s all good.

INXS wanted J.D. It’s scary having this kind of foresight.

SPECIAL AFTERPARTY: The Railway Club, Vancouver BC 10 September 2005

Haters, step off.

We kissed. We hugged. It was beautiful.

Part 3 of 3…

Even though there’s not much going on, I thought the light turned out pretty good on this one…

Ok, I recognize I have a problem. Really, I do recognize my obsession. I just don’t want to do anything about it.

I debated putting this one up. I mean, I have something like 453 photos to chose from, but uh, check out this skinny motherfucker from behind.

Part 2 of 3…

For now, just know you can click to enlarge the photos.

Betcha didn’t know Anton A. Newcombe is also a DJ…

Oh my. Have you ever seen such a hawt dj?

So versatile!

    You know, there are other people in the band, too… I think you can kinda see them in the background…

Ahhh. He’s so beautiful. So beautiful!

Click on images to enlarge…

I’m ridiculously obsessed and my husband supports my crush.

and you know what, haters? I have about 243 more photos kinda like these….
Check this one out. It’s a little bit blurry, but you can see his cuteness in his low riding girl’s jeans…

Getting bored yet? I’M NOT!!

This one is cool…

TWO MORE NIGHTS OF BJM. They were fantastic tonight. K. I’m almost done, I promise…

I’m just going to call it now. I can see the lust in their eyes and they want J.D. I can see the writing all over the wall. Make no mistake. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I can hear INXS saying, in only the way INXS can, "INXS feels that you are Right for INXS". I know it I don’t have to like it. INXS knows all.

Go Jordis! I voted for you last night! Go Marty! Go Mig! Go Suzie!

The Cucumber.

I’m so fucked up over Katrina. It’s difficult to fully take in what is happening, not just in NOLA, but all over the Gulf Coast; people with nothing, with less than nothing and no where to go. I’m so angry and disappointed at the govt/fema/bush/motherfuckers. Then again, I don’t know what I was expecting. I wasn’t expecting such a low blow, such a horrific natural disaster to take us down as a nation, to shine a bright light on the class-ism, the elitism and racial tension in this country. It hurts me to watch animals abandoned on roof tops and 2nd story decks and swimming alone towards nothing. I have no idea what’s become of the livestock, save a photo of hundreds of dead chickens at an egg farm. I heard a story yesterday from the BBC of the actual conditions inside the Superdome or fuck, maybe it was the Convention Center; of the crowd attacking a rapist who had assaulted and slit the throat of a young girl and the crowd beating him to death and hanging him for all to see. What the fuck? Jesus, this is going on in NOLA and yet I see the same 15 minutes of helicopter rescue footage all fucking day long on CNN. I can’t help but feeling like I’m just not getting accurate, unbiased information. I think we need to see the deplorable conditions and the dead bodies and the human & animal suffering. How else will we launch into action? Instead we’re placated with images of the "Calvary" saving our fellow Americans and fucking press conferences minimizing the damage and flatly, dryly assuring us that the Gulf Coast is on the mend and in capable hands. I call bullshit.

I just don’t know how to process this tragedy. Sure, I gave money, and I can pray and light a candle. But how do I affect positive change for the hundreds of thousands of people displaced and traumatized? It’s a helpless feeling and makes just about every other issue in my day to day life feel unimportant.

Let’s just summarize what else has been on my mind:

• Sure, I’m loving the New Season’s on Portland Blvd & Interstate. Fuck yeah, haters, it’s awesome and truly the only grocery store I will go into in my neighborhood from now on.
• I had a great time at Pet Aid on Saturday, saw Dolorean and Dr. Theopolis among others and I’m happy to report the artists were generous and fun. Just about everyone had their dogs; dogs of a hundred different shapes and sizes and well, just good old Portland vibes flowing everywhere.
• Last night I watched The Brown Bunny and in a nutshell, really, the whole movie leads up to Vincent Gallo’s character getting a graphic blow job. Truly, it was more evocative than any porno I’ve seen and damnit if he doesn’t have an enormously thick, long member that just about took up the entire screen. He’s a small guy with a huge package and did I mention he has a large penis? And then I understood what the movie was about and, actually, it was sad and thoughtful. Though, really, you’ve got to sit through an entire movie that’s practically silent to get to the final scene. Was it worth it? I say a resounding YES if you’re a Vincent Gallo fan and NO if you have no feelings one way or another about the man’s dick. I mean, he work.
• The Trifecta of Brian Jonestown Massacre shows starting this Thursday in Portland and ending on Saturday in Vancouver B.C. Dear Lord  how I yearn for some bjm live.

Hope to get some major exercise in today. I was practically comatose yesterday and actually, truth be told, I’ve had my pajamas on since about 11:45pm Saturday night. Maybe I’ll take a shower today.