Superinky Fixations

It’s Wednesday of the last week of term. I’ve got 3 more full days of classes, a weekend of hard core studying and memorization ahead of me, then another 3 days of finals. Then, voila, it’ll all be over. Well, not quite over because I’ve got to complete my human development class. But the chemistry and the statistics and the anatomy and physiology and the pathophysiology will all be over. FOR GOOD. woot! I really can’t even begin to let myself think about anything else but getting through the next few days.

However, I’m not too busy to talk about how much I love my anniversary band, and how I so look forward to next weekend when B and I will take a short, romantic vakay down to McMinnville for some excellent dining and wine tasting. It’s absolutely the main thing that’s propelling forward.

B and I are flying to Philadelphia the first part of April. I’m going to meet the coordinator of the accelerated nursing program, get a tour of the university, and even attend a bsn-express new student orientation dinner. It just sort of happened that we were going to be in town the same time as the dinner. My dearest hope is to secure a place to live while we’re there.

Give me a holla if you have any thoughts about a cross country journey. I’m pretty excited about the prospect. But like I said, I don’t think about it too much right now. I need someone to do the thinking for me!

Villanova sent me an acceptance letter last Friday. I told myself I wasn’t going to know how I felt until I had that letter in my hands. And here it is, Monday, and I’ve read the thing about 10 times and I think I’m still in shock. It’s all the way in Pennsylvania, which freaks me out to no end. Maybe I will know one other person if she decides to go. But she’s kind of in the same position as me, what with a husband and a home here in Portland. Oh, and she grew up right by Villanova. 14 months. Fourteen months. That’s it. It’s a shit ton of money, but then again, a bargain compared with going to Linfield for 2 years or the University of Portland. Hell, I think it’s even less expensive than OHSU. Listen to me, already trying to rationalize…

I feel like if I go ahead and send them the $500 non-refundable deposit for my uniform and stethoscope and misc stuff that I will have committed myself and there’s no reason to look any further for a school. $500 is just enough of a hit to really smart and I’d feel sort of foolish giving it up if I decide later on to go somewhere else.

I’ve got to decide, and SOON. The deposit is due by the 31st of December.Of course the school starts a lot earlier than most of the other schools I’ve looked at. Oh yeah, that’s the other thing; May 19th. School starts on May 19th. No vague amorphous date sometime in the future. It very clearly begins 6 months from Wednesday. I’ll have a Bachelor of Science in Nursing in August of 2009. Everyone, regardless of whether they get an A.S. or a B.S. has to take these national exams, but in theory I could be working before September of 2009. Or I could continue going to school and get my Masters right away and then begin working as a nurse practitioner.

It’s so crazy! A year ago I hadn’t even started taking my pre-requisite to get into my pre-requisites! I was looking to start Math 65, and have taken math every term until now, when, in winter I’ll FINALLY be to the point where I’ll get my math pre-requisite taken care of. Dang that’s a lot of math.

By the way, I totally aced fall term. I love being a full time student. Actually, it’s rather stressful, because I put a lot of stress on myself to do well. I pretty much felt like I was having a non-stop heart attack for the last 2 weeks of school. And now, a week after finals, I have a cold.

My little sister is due to have her baby on the 24th. Isn’t that a week from today? OMG!!! She and Joel are still not giving anyone a definitive answer on a name. I know he wants to go with Joel… I think they both like Jack… I had this dream the other night they named him Andrew… don’t ask me where that came from.

If I go to Villanova  there will be holidays and breaks of course. And B promised we would see each other at least once a month. Fourteen months. I’ve been going to school so far for 12 months.

Winter is going to be crazy intense. I have a conditional acceptance, which means I must complete organic chemistry, statistics, human development, pathophysiology and my third term of anatomy & physiology with a B average or better prior to beginning the nursing program on May 19th. So yeah, I’m taking all of those classes at once. In fact, I only have another 3 weeks of freedom! I know, woe is me, but it doesn’t feel like a very long break!

I can’t stand it. I’m going to surf around and see if I can find some dirt on Villanova; at least a student website or something. But truth be told, it’s a damn fine university.

I’ve apparently decided to adopt a chapter from my friend Charlie’s philosophy of studying for Anatomy & Physiology by not picking up a book for 2 days. Somehow Charlie manages to get nearly perfect scores on every quiz and every test while all my countless hours of studying have only given me (barely) the most lowest of A’s. So while I’ve been home alone for the last couple days I haven’t even cracked a book. Granted, I did do my Friday-night-at-the-lab session because I just can’t shake the feeling that I need to get some studying in before the practicum on Wednesday. But crap I feel like such a bad girl not devoting my entire weekend to the Cascade Campus library. We’ll see if the minimal studying pays off. LOL.

You know, I remember going through this last term; the aching anxiety that I will never live up to my expectations. How could I possibly get perfect grades? Yet I somehow manage to surround myself with uber-geniuses who do get perfect scores and so naturally I feel like a dunce next to them.

By the way, I so totally know how to FOIL at this point. FOILing is child’s play. I can FOIL like nobody’s business. Does it help me distinguish between pseudo-stratified ciliated epithelium and stratified cuboidol epithelium? NO. But FOILing does make me feel better about myself. So far this term’s math feels easier than last term. Then again, even towards the end of last term I kept waiting for things to get more difficult, and waited some more and waited some more. It’s not like I can just crank out the slope intercept, yet I’ve managed to keep up and y = mx + b is my friend. 

Julia and I went on a crazy shopping bender yesterday. I’m too embarrassed to get into all the details, but suffice to say it involved 5 hours and 3 of the same stores from Multnomah to Clark to Clackamas county. I don’t think we spent a $100 between the two of us, but it was certainly thrilling. That woman is a compulsive bargain hunter. I actually think she would have kept going if I’d given her any encouragement.
And hello? I was the willing passenger egging her on from store to store.

I read this news article this morning about a woman who was cleaning up her deceased mother’s home. She had absolutely no idea that for the last 10 years her mother was a compulsive hoarder. The house (here in NE Portland) looked fine from the outside, but indoors was a disaster. Her mother slept on a huge pile of papers with a blanket next to a kerosene lamp. There was a rat’s nest in the kitchen and maggots in a purse she carried with her everyday. Poor lady. Perhaps I have this fear I will turn into a crazy hoarder, as I find my elation at bargain shopping so immense and my mystifying guilt so strong, that my first impulse is to stash my bounty of goods.

So my entries are few and far between. My life has altered and there’s just not much time anymore to write. Though every time I do write, it reminds me why I enjoy it so much. So no promises on when I’ll get back here, though know I certainly love hanging out in my blog world.

Ok, so finally, I know I’m always going on and on about bands no one knows or likes. But today give Brightblack Morninglight a try and I swear they won’t let you down.

Today’s the first day of Spring Term. I’ve got Anatomy & Physiology I on my plate, as well as Math 65. For those that don’t already know, I ACED WINTER TERM with A’s in both Math 60 and Cell Biology/Genetics. Frankly, I was taken aback by the A in Biology. There was a point after my 2nd midterm (of which I scored an 80%) where I decided I’d gladly take a B. Then I braced myself for a B. Then I hoped by a B. Then I PRAYED for a B. But my hard work obviously paid off. YEAH FOR ME.

My A & P books must weigh about 30lbs altogether. Even though this term’s class is only 4 credits, I have a feeling I’ll be doing a helluva lot of memorizing.

Mostly I’m worried about my energy level. Here it is, about 5 and a 1/2 weeks since the surgery and I still find myself extremely fatigued by the end of the day. Work last week was especially hard and very uncomfortable. Now my Mondays and Wednesdays will be long and mentally taxing, what with work and classes from 9am - 9pm.

Tiger & Allison are coming this weekend. I’m hopeful Allie & I will find my bridesmaid dress thereby eliminating one more thing off my list of stresses.

As much as I love my music, after last weekend I now know that I am definitely not a hard rocker. I just can’t take the cigarettes and rampant drinking, the snorting of lines in nasty men’s bathrooms - it’s just not for me. It’s fun to say I was at some intimate shows with the Dandy Warhols (not that any of them know me), but aside from the music (Spindrift - I heart you so hard), it was mostly grossly excessive and tiresome.

It’s sort of a weird position I’m in, loving new psychedelic/folky/stoney music, but not really identifying with the lifestyle that goes along with it. I suppose it’s just a measure of my growth as a human being. Or more to the point, a sign that I’m growing older. I don’t like the idea of eating ramen noodles for a week so I can buy blow and cigarettes for one night. Yuck! That’s just me.

Well, wish me luck as I begin the first of my pre-requisites into nursing school. Last term was just a pre-requisite to my pre-requisite on my long journey (relatively speaking) into my new career. It’s difficult to find the time to write these days. Now that I’m feeling better, though, I’m hopeful I can turn that around. Guess that depends on how easily I can memorize all the bones and muscles of the body.

Oh, and Bretty is such a great chef. Feel free to invite yourselves over for dinner. You’ll be in for a treat.

It’s much harder than I thought it’d be, just laying around day after day. And it’s not just boredom, though I’ve surfed every channel so thoroughly at this point I can tell you who has the best info-mercials, the verdict of virtually every People’s Court hearing over the last several days and who’s on Ellen. Highlights include a made-for-tv "western" with Eric Roberts, the Mary K. LaTorneau story on Lifetime, and the first half of the first season of Melrose Place and Roswell. You know, I’m trying to expand my horizons while I’m down. Challenge the mind if you will…

Frankly, it’s just hard hurting all the time. Being at some level of discomfort day after day sucks. Discomfort wakes me up at 2:30am and forces me to watch Melrose Place. I can’t believe it’s been nearly 2 weeks since the surgery because I feel no where near being ready to join the ranks of the regular world. Abdominal surgery = NOT FUN. Trust me I’ll be taking advantage of my full leave of absence from work.

Biology continues to be hard as hell but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. One more big test, one more huge paper, another pre-lab and quiz, and the completion of my lab manual. By this time next week only the test will be looming like a huge black cloud over my head. If I’m diligent and committed, I’ll keep my B and damn it I will take it proudly. Cell Biology and Genetics has to be the hardest class I have EVER TAKEN. It is by far the class with the most work. The next time you see a Biology text book laying around, keep in mind that the owner of that book was responsible for memorizing and understanding the entire thing. This is not an exaggeration.

Thank you all who’ve kept me in your thoughts these last few weeks. I have loved every card and every flower and all the magazines, puzzles and books. It’s really only been the last four days that I’ve been able to do more than just sit on the lounge chair and pop vicadin. Bretty is a saint among men, truly and completely straight up no lie a saint. He’s done everything for me over the last couple weeks, not just the cooking and cleaning, but waking me up when I needed to take my medication in the middle of the night, helping me get dressed and get in & out of the shower. He’s a dream.

I’m slightly overwhelmed with all the homework I’ve got to make up, but I’m sure I’ll manage somehow. I’m feeling pretty strong at the moment (strong being a relative term you dig) so I’m feeling motivated to crack open the old Algebra book and work through some word problems. They suck!! Let it be known to the whole world! Yet, I must do them. I really want that A.

I’m a big winner
Originally uploaded by Superinkygrrl.

I had another one of those school-related dreams last night. Some imaginary high school/junior college full of mostly young, earthy women rushing around between classes. I catch a glimpse of one of the text books a heavy-set girl with unkempt brown hair is schlepping and it says "Primary Algebra". I wonder to myself in my dream if we are on our way to the same class. Oh, and everyone’s books are old and tattered. I feel like most of the students must think I’m a teacher, even though I feel young and earthy on the inside.

Is it gray and rainy enough out there for you? My desire to nest is intense. How I’d dearly love to have a day in which to housekeep and freshen up my poor old house. God knows I’m not doing any sort of housekeeping on one of my days off. GOD NO. My days off these last few weekends have primarily centered around recovering from all the good cheer of the previous day.

For the most part, though, I’m loving the holiday season. I love that bretty is so excited about his family traditions. It makes me laugh how enthusiastic he gets about putting up x-mas lights. I’m quite sure one can see our house from space. My obsession with x-mas ornaments is so profound that there is not a spare branch on my fake tree available for another ornament. I have this notion that one year I’ll do a theme tree. But it always seems to turn out that I just keep piling the ornaments on. Which, I suppose, one could argue is a theme in and of itself.

We went to Acadia the other night for dinner. Wow, it was pretty spectacular when it was all said & done. Of course, it helped that we had great company and super wine which always makes a meal go down well. I recommend the prix fixe: for $25 you get a your of one of many entrees on the menu, a salad (cesar or house) and a delcious dessert (I can feel my arteries hardening at the thought of that bread pudding). I think it’s b & i’s favorite restaurant for a while.